So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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