I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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