Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
