Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
