Say something about gay babies.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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