I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
