I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
