I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
