once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
