Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize