i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
