I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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