P.S. I can't hear my feet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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