I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All I want is dick and wine.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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