He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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