he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
