Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How's work?
Spinning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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