lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
50% drunk capacity currently
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We need to get me chipped asap
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
