what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
