Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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