11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
