she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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