Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
