I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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