so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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