I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Shame - the story of my life.
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