I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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