A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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