I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
