Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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