But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize