My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize