Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
