Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sext me about skeletons
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
