I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
