no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
