If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize