I want to make a zoo with you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
