I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
