He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
