I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
