dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize