I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize