so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
