Whod you bang
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
