You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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