you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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