I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
