the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
