Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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