I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's paint friendship bongs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
