After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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