I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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