I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize