I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
