We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
