You just made me feel so damn special
She is in my trunk
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
