I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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