do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
