Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
3 2 1 whiskey
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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