I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
