i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
