Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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