Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
