he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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