Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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