I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize