we have pet lesbian snakes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cockslap morals
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
