You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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