You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
