I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
