I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
