Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
