I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
