Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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