I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
